Online Dating

This post is going to be a little bit different to my previous ones, but still falls into what I’m trying to achieve with my blog. I am eventually going to branch out and start blogging on different topics but for now I’m writing about things which are close to my heart, and I think that’s important. 

I’ve been having conversations with people over the past few weeks and also from personal experiences, I wanted to talk a bit about online dating. The constant swiping left or right seen on a daily basis. There are so many different dating apps available right now, Tinder, Bumble, Plenty of Fish, to name just a few. 

I’ll be completely honest with you by saying that I’m no stranger to these. I do find myself aimlessly swiping at stupid hours of the night when I can’t sleep. And by no means am I going to be completely negative about the aspect of online dating. I do know of success stories, quite a few actually. But I find my own experiences and some of those from people around me are also far from successful. 

There are so many pros and cons to this way of meeting people. You can get to know someone over a matter of weeks or months before you finally take the plunge. It’s also a good idea for those who work long hours and don’t often get the chance to hit the town. For me, its ideal, because I work weekends, and also because I am very nervous around someone new. Talking online makes me a little bit more comfortable. 

But after watching every single episode of Catfish ten times or more, there are parts that terrify me. You are putting your trust in someone being who they say they are, without never even clasping eyes on them before. I speak for myself and many others when I say I’ve put myself at risk when meeting people I’ve only spoken to online.

But it has educated me, and I’m not as naive as I would have been a few years ago. 

You need to be able to read the red flags after only a couple of messages, and it’s important to separate the honest and genuine people from the sex crazed maniacs. One of the most important things to do to protect yourself is respect yourself. And don’t always believe what people tell you. Be extra vigilant to keep yourself safe. 

A lot of people just go swiping for the fun

of it and to laugh at some of the more creative chat up lines, but for some they are actually looking for something a little bit more serious. One of the best things to do though is make it clear what you are looking for, And it’s probably best not to talk to people at the other side of the world. Be realistic, be honest, be you. 

But the problem is people hide behind these profiles and create a persona or even use other people’s photos to be someone they aren’t. Sometimes they can have bad intentions but sometimes they want to escape who they really are. A lot of experiences on these sights can be dangerous, but can also affect how you feel about yourself. I’m always so scared that people will think I don’t look like my photos,  and they won’t like me in real life. And that’s what these sights have done to the world of dating. It can be really bad for you. 

But as long as you take the steps to keep yourself safe then maybe you will have a happy ending. I would hate a young person to get taken advantage of or groomed when they may not know a lot about the dangers of these sites. It’s so easy to believe the things that people tell you when you don’t actually know who is behind the computer screen. 

I’ve been told some stories recently which have really put me off meeting people online, and I’d love to just be able to find someone the old-fashioned way. But I don’t lose hope that one day it may work. For a lot of people it really does. But I’ve learnt slowly but surely that I am a bad judge of character, and I hold my hands up to that. 

Maybe, my bad judge of character means I’m doomed to be an old spinster with 30 cats. Who knows. If that’s my destiny then so be it. But for those of you who choose these new trends of online dating, there’s nothing wrong with that. I’m rooting for you 100%. Just be careful. 

The stories I’ve heard, even someone going to extreme lengths with money. They worry me. They really put things into perspective. Its made me realise what some people are capable of, and how they pray on the vulnerable. I’m not saying that everyone you meet online is like this, because they most certainly aren’t. The majority are actually genuine people. But we need to be vigilant. I don’t want to hear anymore of these bad experiences. I live for the good ones, not the bad! 

I love a good romance story. A happy ending. I need to be inspired by more of the cheery and less of the dreary. I hope people don’t think I’m all doom and gloom because I’m really not! In fact I’m hoping my writing is more helpful, encouraging and inspiring rather than sucking the life out of you. 

Let’s all just have a bit of a back bone. I certainly need to grow more of one. And let’s learn together to see who people really are. And just be safe. I want more Tinder Fairytales instead of Catfish tales.