Being Single..




I apologise for leaving some time between my posts recently, I have been busy with work! Which is a good thing after being off for so long so I’m definitely not complaining! I hope you are all well and enjoying this glorious British Summer! Take that statement how you want to, could be sarcasm, who knows 😏

Some of you may be enjoying the summer more than others. You could be jetting off to some Mediterranean hotspot with your other half, or you could be still feeling the effects of the pandemic. If you are lucky enough to have someone by your side to enjoy the sunny summer months with then I see that as a blessing. Being single at any time of the year can be extremely lonely. I’m definitely feeling those affects, even more so with the added stresses of the recent lockdown situation. 

However, my aim today is to express to you, my lovely readers, that being single isn’t always a bad thing. Good things take time. We should embrace the single life and enjoy it! Many of you will probably be disagreeing with me right now but I hope by the end of this post you may think a bit differently! 

I, myself, have been single for some time now. It feels a lot longer than it has been to be honest, but that’s because a lot has happened. I do find myself getting tired of looking at happy couples and wishing I was in one. Someone to do all the nice things with. But I also know that when I do find someone again, I don’t want to rush it, because I want it to be right this time. This gives me some piece of mind that I should just live my life and go with the flow. Like I said, good things take time, and I need to be cautious and maybe a bit more selective next time. (Something my friends and family will strongly agree on)

I’ve come to realise recently that being alone for this amount of time has helped me. I’m stronger because I’ve built myself up without a partner by my side. I have been able to put all the pieces of myself back together. I am happy alone. And that is a foundation we all need to have before going into a relationship. 

I never want to feel that I have to put my entire faith into another person to make me feel whole. I want to have my own confidence, and I don’t want to rely on anyone else to make me feel good about myself. If I was to rely on someone and they were taken away, that would mean my whole world would come crashing down once more. And I feel so strongly about this from seeing it first hand, and it is really terrifying. How one person has the power to break you, and that is definitely not a situation that I want to put myself into. 

I am trying right now to embrace being on my own. Looking at the pros. 

1. I have complete control over the TV

2. I don’t have to please anyone but myself 

3. I can do what I want when I want 

4. I always have my own way 

5. I can always order the takeaway I really want 

These might not seem like major things, but for me they really are. It means that the only person I need to think about right now is me and that has been the best thing to help my recovery. I have finally put myself first. I can fully get to know who I really am, the person before my mental health problems. I can do the things I really enjoy, and make myself happy. I know that I’ll never be who I was before, and that’s not necessarily the worst thing. But at least I can rediscover my passions and my drive. 

It is so important to be content with who you are before you let someone else in. I am so thankful that I have given myself the time to fix all the damages inside me. I now know that if I do find someone, I will be strong enough to deal with the ups and downs and bumps in the road. I also know that I will attract someone who is good for me, because I have built my confident back up to a place where I can see what I deserve. 

If any of you are feeling the way that I have during the catastrophic year of 2020, and are pining for a companion just think of everything I have just said. Enjoy the single life for what it is. Go and get drunk with your friends, eat out to your hearts content. Watch your favourite movie for the hundredth time without any judgement whatsoever. Do whatever the hell you want. Embrace it. Relish yourself in the feeling that you are in complete control. 

One of the worst things would be to find the right person but at the wrong time. Or to meet someone when you aren’t yourself. There is also the issue of settling out of pure desperation because of the overwhelming feeling of loneliness! But this is where mistakes are made, and you end up back where you started. The best relationships are the ones that are unexpected. The ones where you find someone who you can be completely yourself around, someone who accepts every part of you, because let’s face it, no body is perfect. 

Everything happens at just the right moment, and I believe in that, I really do!


So please don’t see being single as all doom and gloom! Don’t waste your time wallowing like I have. Go out and make memories. So, in a few years when you are in a relationship and you look back at your single years, you can say, “you know what, I had such a good time!” See your friends on a daily basis, cherish your family, but also learn to enjoy your own company. Then, when the time is right, the person you’ve been waiting for will walk in to your life, and you’ll be ready. 


Comments

  1. Gisele AndradeOctober 3, 2020 at 10:03 AM

    Hello. I married at 26, but i was a single woman until I was 23. I saw my friends with boyfriends and felt unhappy. However, now I see lots of them were wiy people for the sake of not being single. I did lots of great things just because i was single. I could study languages, learn how to play the guitar, go to poetry events. I doubt i would have done those with my handsome husband tempting me to kiss hehehehe in case you feel lonely, you can always talk to a friend and relative

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