Why isn’t life like a movie

Picture this.  You wake up one morning, the sun is peaking through the curtains. You look over and your partner is sleeping soundly next to you. You feel a warmth, an all rounded happiness which spreads throughout your whole body. You are so excited about the day ahead that you don’t take a second thought as you jump out of bed.  You sing in the shower, you dance around as you make your breakfast and morning coffee. You stand at your kitchen window and peer out into the garden. You can’t help but smile to yourself. You think about the life you have made. The world seems better somehow. The sun shines brighter, the birds sing louder. Your life is exactly what you always dreamed it would be. Is there any better feeling than this?  You look around at your farm house kitchen with its perfect beams and undeniable character. Your wine rack filled with french Bordeaux’s and the finest champagnes. Your tastes emanating through every crevasse of the stone walls. No one could deny ...

I posted this quote on my social media  yesterday, as it’s something I really need to drill into my head lately. I was reading an interview in a magazine with Joanna Trollope. She is a very talented author who is now around 70 years old. She was asked a question about what she would tell her 18 year old self.. her answer was pretty much  that “there is no need to worry, there is no rush, you have so much time.” And it’s something I really needed to hear.  I’ve been sat thinking that if I could go back in time there is so much that I would change. That I would have worked harder at university, I would have done work placements or got myself an internship in publishing etc. Just regretting the decisions I’ve made and the effort I’ve put in. I’ve literally just been saying to myself “Alix what are you doing, seriously?”  But I can’t keep doing that to myself. Unfortunately, life happens. Nothing ever goes how you planned it would. I turn 26 next week and I’ve done none ...

 The title to my blog is ‘why isn’t life like a movie’ and my plan was to post on all the different reasons why it’s not. Explore the idea that life happens and not everything goes how you plan it. And In the end that’s ok. I had to break it to myself that I’m not always going to have a happy ending. My Prince Charming isn’t necessarily going to come galloping in on his white horse and sweep me off my feet.  There are so many more movies and series on Netflix and amazon etc which are actually a lot more realistic nowadays. They highlight important issues which happen in the world everyday. And even though they can be hard hitting and difficult to watch, it’s vital that writers and directors introduce us to narratives which are closer to home. And give an overall clearer view of society.  I know we all love a bit of escapism and I myself am a sucker for a good cheesy romcom where I can see Zac Efron with his top off. Which is something I’m doing more so recently because of...

This post is going to be a little bit different to my previous ones, but still falls into what I’m trying to achieve with my blog. I am eventually going to branch out and start blogging on different topics but for now I’m writing about things which are close to my heart, and I think that’s important.  I’ve been having conversations with people over the past few weeks and also from personal experiences, I wanted to talk a bit about online dating. The constant swiping left or right seen on a daily basis. There are so many different dating apps available right now, Tinder, Bumble, Plenty of Fish, to name just a few.  I’ll be completely honest with you by saying that I’m no stranger to these. I do find myself aimlessly swiping at stupid hours of the night when I can’t sleep. And by no means am I going to be completely negative about the aspect of online dating. I do know of success stories, quite a few actually. But I find my own experiences and some of those from people around me...

This is my first post for a few days as I’ve been working all weekend and I’ve been completely dead. So it’s given me a lot of food for thought. In fact I’ve had lots of time to think about things while I’ve been grafting my bum off.  Having a job in the hospitality industry means I meet so many different people day in day out. Some I interact with for a few minutes, some it’s just a smile and a hello or a thank you. I often think about how many people I must see in one long shift or even short ones. I can guarantee that I speak for many people doing the same job as me when I say that we meet the weird and the wonderful. Working in hospitality for as long as I have means I definitely have some stories to tell and it does make me question the minds of some people it really does. But that’s not what I want to talk about today, however that would be a good idea for another post because I could go on for hours!  The thing that I’ve noticed the most though over the past few days is...

I’m so lost in my own head today that I think I’ve come to some kind of writers block. Not just with my blogs but with the novel I’m working on right now. It doesn’t help that my cats are being absolute devils today and getting on my last nerve.  I have to keep telling myself that this is ok. Bad days are ok. No one is expected to be the best they can be every single day of their lives, because that would be exhausting. I have been reading and rereading my work, some days I like it and some days I just want to delete it all and give up.  It’s alright if some days you wake up and want to stay in bed an extra half an hour. There’s going to be times when you don’t want to face the world outside. I used to feel that way every day, but now I only feel it maybe once a week. When this happens I do things that make me feel comforted, ways in which I can deal with my emotions. I watch my favourite film or series, I listen to songs I can sing my heart out too and dance around my living ...

I apologise for not posting yesterday! I was so tired that my brain wasn’t working and I wouldn’t have been able to get any words down. It just shows how difficult it can be to get back into the swing of things. It did feel great though, getting myself into gear and back on my feet! I hope that anyone else who went back to work this week has had a positive start and isn’t hating it already.  I always have so many things I want to talk about. I have to narrow it down to what I’m feeling most strongly about on the day. I decided I wanted to share the above quote.. I found it recently while prowling my social media. It spoke to me in so many ways, most importantly pointing out that mental health should be openly talked about. I would always hate sharing with anyone about how I was feeling. I would listen to myself and think about how pathetic I sounded. When actually it was only me who thought about it that way. If whatever you are feeling is that significant and you need to let it ou...

So I’m back at work tomorrow after being off since March. I thought I should do a post that’s a little more upbeat and a bit more lighthearted, otherwise you are all going to end up telling me to lighten up a bit. Plus I want to keep you entertained don’t I.  I think tomorrow should be a day I make an effort after not wearing makeup or even caring about how I look for 15 weeks. I will be putting real clothes on instead of wearing my favourite pink elephant pyjamas. You know what I might even brush my hair. But most heartbreakingly I have to end my 3 month fling with my TV. The one person that never judges me. It’s going to be a hard separation. I’m also going to be having withdrawal symptoms due to lack of wine. Such an emotional time.  One part of me is happy to be going back to work, to prize myself away from the sofa. To get back to some kind of normality. But then I’m also nervous. I’ve been hibernating for so long and I feel like my first day is going to hit me hard. I kn...

I’ve had a bit of a strange day today. I’ve found myself doubting myself. During lockdown I have been working on some chapters of a new novel. I read the words back to myself and think “you know what I’m pretty proud of that” but then I still have this haunting feeling that no matter what I do, my writing will never be good enough.  I look at people making it big in this world, perfecting their arts. Whether that’s writing, acting, music etc. Then I look at myself and think that it’s never going to happen for me. I think the one thing I’m fearing the most is that rejection. Do I have the strength to take that rejection and turn it into something positive? Can I take that constructive criticism and eventually get where I want to be?  I know that I’m not the only one that feels this way. It’s not helped by the fact that people tell us how tough the world can be and how hard it is to be successful in certain industries. Some even tell us that we are being daft in thinking that we...

I was struggling to think of what I was going to write today because I constantly have so many things going on in my head. I finally had a day away from Riverdale and my obsession with Jughead Jones. It’s surprising how much better you feel when you get up and get ready and step your foot outside the front door. The initial idea of it can be extremely daunting and you just want to hide away in your bed forever. But you will be so thankful to yourself if you push that little bit further.  I had my induction today for a new job. Starting a new job is a scary thing. Especially with everything going on in the world right now. One thing many will know about me is that I am a big worrier. What if people don’t like me? What if I don’t like it? What if it’s too busy and I can’t cope? I have so many worries going round and round in my head. I have to say to myself “Where are your worries coming from? Do you have a reason for feeling this way?” And the real answer is no, I don’t. I’ve never ...

I’ve had some really good responses from my blog in the last couple of days. If my posts can help just one person that may be struggling right now then that’s a success for me.  When it comes down to it, it’s helping me too. So that can only be a win win situation. This one can only come at a good time for me as today I’ve really let myself go. I’ve been lazy. Netflix keeps personally victimising me by asking if I’m still watching. Leave me alone! Yes I am still watching! Stop judging me! My phone is telling me how many hours I’ve been active on different social media apps. Overall I think this is not just an issue that I have, but one that many people have been struggling with over the last few months.  I have a love hate relationship with social media and how much simpler would life be if it didn’t exist. I spend my days scrolling through Instagram, Twitter, Facebook etc. I get lost in the lives of the rich and the famous and people I know that are living lives that I’m not....

I hope that everyone liked my first blog. I feel like this is a way for me to express myself. I’ve always loved writing but I let that go for awhile. I read a quote on Pinterest recently which really hit hard for me. It said “the only person I ever lost and needed back was myself”. I don’t know who wrote this but it is one quote that I don’t think I will ever forget. It’s important that you don’t ever lose sight of how far you’ve come, and no matter what has happened along the way you always come back to yourself.  It’s days like this that I properly see that. A normal family meal like I’ve had today would, a year ago be a daunting thought. Having to make conversation and answer questions even with the people closest to you was my worst nightmare. The constant hollow feeling just wouldn’t go away, no matter how hard I tried and how hard other people tried I was in a dark place. I was in an argument with myself as to whether things could ever get better. Would I ever get to that poi...